Lindsay Lohan Needs A Team To Fix Her

The Daily Mail are reporting that Lindsay Lohan's lawyer has asked the prosecution in her latest legal issue (reckless driving, lying to police, obstruction of police) to join forces with him in a bid to fix the deeply emotionally broken actress.

Apparently, Lindsay wants to meet the prosecution because she is scared of court:

"Heller also asks if the Mean Girls star can meet prosecutors as she wants to introduce herself, adding that Lindsay is 'fearful and apprehensive of court' and 'would probably prefer to go to the dentist to have her teeth drilled.'"

Of course she'd rather have her teeth drilled, then she might get some hardcore pain medications.

Brain Slugs

In news that is likely to put me off burritos for life, Frenzhal Rhomb band member, Jay Whalley, has had a pig tapeworm removed from his HEAD after catching it from consuming a contaminated vegetarian burrito.

Until  this morning, I was safe in a cocoon of ignorance that tapeworms could only get into your intestines. Intestines are  filthy  places anyway, what's a little slug for company? But the HEAD. There's something a little too Futurama Brain Slug-esque about this for me.

The fine literary journal The Daily Mail has all the details you could possibly want. And pictures of the scars.

Incidentally, I am now in the market for one of these:

Picture and craft credit to Codi Booher's  DeviantArt.

Massive Meth Bust

The illustrious Sydney Morning Herald is this morning reporting that 585 kilograms of methamphetamine (crystal meth for us Breaking Bad fans) has been seized by police.

The article says this:

"Members of a drug syndicate involved in importing more then half a tonne of the drug ice into Australia went to "considerable lengths" to escape detection, police say."

 They went to considerable lengths, huh? You don't fucking say. Here was I, along with the rest of the public, thinking they'd been walking around with suitcases labelled ICE in the manner of a cartoon villain with an Acme bomb.

Read more here.